In my twenties, I was focused on the expense side of the equation of net worth. So I saved everything I could. I was making really good money after I got out of the Air Force and I lived in a guy’s room for $400/month instead of renting my own apartment. All to save money. I went too far, and it affected how much I enjoyed my life. Saving, and working towards financial independence, is obviously important. But not at the expense of your happiness. I used to fret about money and constantly feel guilty about spending. But then I realized there are two sides to the equation. There is the expense side, of course. But there is also the revenue side. I realized I could increase the amount of money I made through investments and entrepreneurship. The net worth would still be there, but not by scrimping and saving every penny I could get my hands on. My mindset completely shifted. My guilt went away and, not to be too dramatic, I was liberated by the new mindset. I wish I could go back and tell my 24-year-old self this…
Category: Perspective
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“Don’t worry Mommy, everyone makes mistakes.”
Layla, cheering up Mommy after she made a mistake…
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Gratitude
So much good comes to you from gratitude. Shift your focus to one of appreciation and gratitude. Make your experience one of thankfulness and joy. This can be really hard at first, but like building a muscle it becomes easier and faster over time.
You should intentionally expose yourself to the other side of rough neighborhoods and other people. You can’t really be grateful for what you have until you know how special it is. Exposing yourself will immediately give you tremendous respect and gratitude for what you have.
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Deciding What You Want to Do
Sam Altman: “If you can’t figure out what kind of work you like, pay attention to what’s easy to concentrate on and gives you energy vs. what makes you tune out and feel tired. Sounds obvious but remains some of the best advice I ever got.”
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Patience
Patience makes time your greatest asset. It will work for you, not against you.
Saw this on Twitter: The greatest threat to results is impatience. If you let it, a tiny daily advantage will compound into a massive generational one. A lack of patience changes the outcome.
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The Choice is Yours
Two twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic and when asked what happened he said, “I watched my father.” The other grew up never having had a drink in his life. When he was asked what happened he said, “I watched my father.” Twins with the same environment came to completely opposite perspectives. They chose to have different perspectives.
You have the ultimate choice of how you perceive everything in your life. You can choose to be a victim. Or you can choose to make the setback your opportunity for greatness. It’s all about perspective.
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Be Nice
Be nice just to be nice. But there are also a lot of benefits:
- You feel better about yourself
- Whatever is happening in your brain is probably slightly different than the reality so being nice gives the other person the benefit of the doubt
- The nicer you are to other people, the nicer they will be to you (this is especially important when you need something from somebody else!)
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It’s Never Black or White
One quirk of human nature is when we something happens to us or in the world we are so fast to come up with a explanation. This explanation is usually black or white, and usually dramatically oversimplifies the situation. Why did that ship sink? The captain crashed the boat. A more current example: Why did chaos erupt when we left Afghanistan? Because the President abruptly pulled our military presence out.
One interesting thing here is, when something goes wrong, the simplified solution we usually come up with is to blame the person rather than the situation (i.e., fundamental attribution error).
I’ve noticed this to be a universal quirk of human nature. Everyone does it, no matter the background.
But complicated situations or events almost NEVER have simple explanations. The reality is usually incredibly messy and convoluted, with a tremendous number of confounding factors. It’s a mistake to demonize a person or one factor without fully understanding a situation. Defer judgement and keep an open mind. You might be surprised with the reality of the situation, and if you jump to conclusions it will be impossible to understand the root cause.
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Time
There’s a funny phenomenon in life. When you’re young, you have no money but a lot of time. As you get older, you have a lot of money but no time. There’s a crossover from broke to no time at some point, and this starts to influence the tradeoffs you make in your life.
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What if you die young?
Everything we do comes with some kind of risk attached to it. There is a 17% chance you will die playing Russian Roulette. Most other odds are hard to calculate but you get the idea.
You have to weigh the odds of dying with the value you ascribe to that activity. A good way to figure out if you should actually engage in a risky activity is to ask how you would feel if you were to die doing it.
I used to ride motorcycles. When I was young, it meant enough to me that I realized I could die and I was okay with it. As I got older, got married, and had kids, I wasn’t okay dying riding motorcycles. So I stopped. Same with skydiving.
If you would feel like an idiot dying doing what you’re about to do then you probably shouldn’t do it. It’s okay to say no.