Fight the fights that are worth fighting. Don’t fight just to fight, and don’t put yourself out there for something that’s not worth it. This applies to everything in life – business, friends, family. With friends and family, very often there is something that you kind of want but the other person really wants. You want the living room to be organized in a certain way and the other person wants it completely different. If you don’t care that much, then it’s a fight that’s not worth fighting. If you care strongly about something then you should advocate for it. But if you don’t care, and it’s better to preserve the relationship then let the other person win.
Category: Perspective
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What Makes You Special
Far too often, people think they are special because they come from a special situation like a royal family, or have an exceptional talent that makes them different and better. It’s not what you say or where you come from that makes you special.
The truth is this:
You are not special because of who you are but what you do.
You become special through your actions. By what you do. Every day, day in and day out. Your actions define who you are and the person you will become.
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Go without…
“Go without and see what you really need.” This is a stoic philosophy of “voluntary hardship” nicely summarized. Too often we get used to living a certain way and develop a dependence on things in our lives. Many of the things in your life you may not actually need. After all, what do you really need to live a good life? Not much if you pair it all down to the basics – safety, shelter, food, health, and family. What else is there?
You can simplify your life and understand your true needs by going without something to see if you really need it. This especially applies to material things, but it can also be routines or people in your life. If after a brief experiment you find that you don’t need something then you can eliminate it from your life.
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What would you say?
Imagine you’re laying in your deathbed at 90 years old and your 30-year-old self is standing there talking to you. What would you say? -
The Long Arc of Your Life
As you make decisions day-to-day, it’s easy to get lost in the details and miss the Forrest for the trees. As big decisions come up, try to put them in the context of the long arc of your life. Looking back on your life at 80, will it all make sense? Will it have a logic and progression to it?
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Arguments & Emotions
Emotions have a funny way of distorting reality. There is a lot to write about this. For now, I want to focus on the emotional side of arguments.When you get into an argument with someone close to you, emotions immediately flare. Studies show that men get a lot more emotional in arguments than women do. Regardless, emotions flare for everyone, and one big consequence of this is things get blown out of proportion. A small disagreement over something trivial blow up into an all-out, no-holds-barred brawl. How this happens is worth closely examining for yourself in terms of triggers and chains of reaction. Mastering this will help you protect your closest relationships.I have noticed something funny about these kinds of trivial arguments that have blown up into a big ordeal. A few months after the argument, I can almost never remember why we were arguing in the first place. I remember the intensity of the argument or adrenaline flowing, but not specifically what upset me. Maybe it’s just me, but hopefully it is you too. I say that because it has really helped me put things into context. I may be feeling strongly about something that could blow up into an argument. When a big argument is start to flare up, it has helped me de-escalate to realize that I am going to forget what this was all about in a few months anyway. If I am going to forget, what’s the point of getting all worked up about it today? It it really is something trivial, let it go.Don’t get too hung up on arguments. You won’t remember what you were arguing about in a year anyway. -
Live, For I am Coming
Death twitches my ear. “Live,” he says, “I am coming.” –Virgil
This is one of my favorite quotes. Live your life to the fullest. It will go by in a flash and soon you will be gone. Yes, that is morbid. But it is also true. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will live every moment to its fullest.
Six Feet Under is a great show to watch to realize this. It covers the lifetimes of a bunch of characters that you get close to.
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Growing In Life
If you cannot be corrected without being offended, then you’ll never truly grow in life. – Professor Richard Feynman
Professor Feynman is someone you should definitely get to know. I highly recommend his book Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman.
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Your Focus
Focus on what you can control. There is no point in worrying about what is out of your control, like whether the economy is in a recession. Instead, take measure of what you can personally affect and take action to make your life better.
