Category: Happiness

  • The Secrets to Happiness

    The Secrets to Happiness

    Psychologists have turned their attention to the science of happiness. They have made some interesting discoveries. I am paraphrasing here, but here’s a summary of the literature – or The Secrets to Happiness:

    • Low expectations – Unhappiness comes from high expectations that don’t reflect reality. One way to avoid this disconnect is to not spend too much time thinking into the future. Focus on the here and now. Keep dreaming big, but don’t fixate on the future. Happiness = Expectations minus Reality
    • Limited choices
    • No judgements – and a corollary is don’t compare yourself or your situation to others
  • You are not your backhand…

    You are not your backhand…

    You are not your performance or result or test score. You should not measure your worth by how you perform or how other people see you. This will make you unhappy and anxious, and you are much more than that. If you identify with your backhand, you will judge and evaluate yourself that much more.

    This came from The Inner Game a Tennis. Highly recommended reading!

  • Save, but be Happy

    Save, but be Happy

    In my twenties, I was focused on the expense side of the equation of net worth. So I saved everything I could. I was making really good money after I got out of the Air Force and I lived in a guy’s room for $400/month instead of renting my own apartment. All to save money. I went too far, and it affected how much I enjoyed my life. Saving, and working towards financial independence, is obviously important. But not at the expense of your happiness. I used to fret about money and constantly feel guilty about spending. But then I realized there are two sides to the equation. There is the expense side, of course. But there is also the revenue side. I realized I could increase the amount of money I made through investments and entrepreneurship. The net worth would still be there, but not by scrimping and saving every penny I could get my hands on. My mindset completely shifted. My guilt went away and, not to be too dramatic, I was liberated by the new mindset. I wish I could go back and tell my 24-year-old self this…

  • Gratitude

    Gratitude

    So much good comes to you from gratitude. Shift your focus to one of appreciation and gratitude. Make your experience one of thankfulness and joy. This can be really hard at first, but like building a muscle it becomes easier and faster over time.

    You should intentionally expose yourself to the other side of rough neighborhoods and other people. You can’t really be grateful for what you have until you know how special it is. Exposing yourself will immediately give you tremendous respect and gratitude for what you have.

  • Suffering

    Suffering

    The Dalai Lama teaches that suffering is an unavoidable part of life, but it’s how we respond that matters, viewing it as a chance to develop compassion, wisdom, and inner strength, not a reason for despair, emphasizing that everyone seeks happiness, and this shared desire connects us despite differences. He distinguishes between avoidable suffering (our actions, emotions) and unavoidable suffering (aging, death, natural events), urging us to accept reality, transform negative experiences, and cultivate mental peace, as worrying is pointless if a situation can’t be changed or can be changed.

    Suffering is so important for so many reasons.

    Suffering is pain * resistance. Learning and growth come from suffering. Therefore, lean into suffering and you will find your meaning.

     

  • Marriage

    Marriage

    Marry the right person – this one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
    Also realize that you are marrying that person’s family. I didn’t realize how important this is and really lucked out that your mom’s family is AWESOME. If they weren’t, it would have been really tough given how much time we all spend together.
  • Friends

    Friends

    Who am I around? What are they doing to me? Is that okay?

    Friends are such a major influence on your life and what happens to you.

    You are the sum of your five closest friends.

  • The Choice is Yours

    The Choice is Yours

    Two twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic and when asked what happened he said, “I watched my father.” The other grew up never having had a drink in his life. When he was asked what happened he said, “I watched my father.” Twins with the same environment came to completely opposite perspectives. They chose to have different perspectives.

    You have the ultimate choice of how you perceive everything in your life. You can choose to be a victim. Or you can choose to make the setback your opportunity for greatness. It’s all about perspective.

  • Be Nice

    Be Nice

    Be nice just to be nice. But there are also a lot of benefits:

    • You feel better about yourself
    • Whatever is happening in your brain is probably slightly different than the reality so being nice gives the other person the benefit of the doubt
    • The nicer you are to other people, the nicer they will be to you (this is especially important when you need something from somebody else!)
  • Don’t take any bull…

    Don’t take any bull…

    You don’t have to put up with toxic, abusive, or negative people. If you have a boss that verbally abuses you or others, or a friend who drags you down, or a business partner who sabotages you… ditch them! It can be scary to break free and find a new path forward. But life is way too short to surround yourself with these kinds of people. At the end of the day it is your choice. Ultimately, you are choosing who you surround yourself with. Or who you don’t want to be around. You can surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you better, or people who drag you down.