Emotions have a funny way of distorting reality. There is a lot to write about this. For now, I want to focus on the emotional side of arguments.
When you get into an argument with someone close to you, emotions immediately flare. Studies show that men get a lot more emotional in arguments than women do. Regardless, emotions flare for everyone, and one big consequence of this is things get blown out of proportion. A small disagreement over something trivial blow up into an all-out, no-holds-barred brawl. How this happens is worth closely examining for yourself in terms of triggers and chains of reaction. Mastering this will help you protect your closest relationships.
I have noticed something funny about these kinds of trivial arguments that have blown up into a big ordeal. A few months after the argument, I can almost never remember why we were arguing in the first place. I remember the intensity of the argument or adrenaline flowing, but not specifically what upset me. Maybe it’s just me, but hopefully it is you too. I say that because it has really helped me put things into context. I may be feeling strongly about something that could blow up into an argument. When a big argument is start to flare up, it has helped me de-escalate to realize that I am going to forget what this was all about in a few months anyway. If I am going to forget, what’s the point of getting all worked up about it today? It it really is something trivial, let it go.
Don’t get too hung up on arguments. You won’t remember what you were arguing about in a year anyway.
