Dear Kids

things I want you to know before you go

157 short lessons in seven parts, with a few words from the family in between. Read it front to back, or open it anywhere.

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My purpose in life is not to give you the answers, but to give you the tools.

You will make dozens of important decisions each week of your life, especially in your 20s and 30s. What you need are the tools to be able to make those decisions yourself. This book is my toolbox, handed over.

Love, Dad

From Tools, Not Answers

Contents

1Who You Are
25 lessons

Character, mindset, and the person you choose to be.

  1. 1The Last Inch of Us
  2. 220 40 60
  3. 3Defining Moments
  4. 4Your True Value
  5. 5Try not to notice….
  6. 6Happiness is a Choice
  7. 7If you want respect, carry yourself in a way that commands it.
  8. 8Your Thoughts Define You
  9. 9Stay Humble
  10. 10Extreme Ownership
  11. 11Entitlement
  12. 12Who do you think you’re talking to!?
  13. 13The Choice is Yours
  14. 14Be kind but not weak
  15. 15Destiny
  16. 16Confidence
  17. 17Strong, Smart, Brave
  18. 18You are not your backhand…
  19. 19Who do you want to be?
  20. 20The One Thing They Can’t Take
  21. 21Social Media
  22. 22What Makes You Special?
  23. 23Hard Choices
  24. 24The Person You Want to Be
  25. 25Nobody is Perfect
~ a word from Grandpa ~
2Be Bold
20 lessons

Asking, taking risks, and spotting the open door.

  1. 1Go Big or Go Home, Baby!
  2. 2You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get
  3. 3Windows of Opportunity
  4. 4Audaces Fortuna Iuvat
  5. 5There Are No Rules
  6. 6Beg Forgiveness, Don’t Ask Permission
  7. 7Burn the Boats
  8. 8The “Nos” Don’t Matter
  9. 9Heroes are Human, Too
  10. 10Fight For It
  11. 11Hard Work = Luck
  12. 12While Taking Risk, Protect the Downside
  13. 13Why?
  14. 14What is courage?
  15. 15Take Society as a Suggestion
  16. 16Say “Yes”
  17. 17What’s the worst that can happen?
  18. 18Grow or Be Comfortable?
  19. 19Stories You Can Tell
  20. 20Opportunity
~ a word from Baba Abdul ~
3Do the Work
28 lessons

Effort, habits, focus, and finishing what you start.

  1. 1Nothing Lasts Forever
  2. 2Activity Isn’t Accomplishment
  3. 3Strengths vs. Weaknesses
  4. 4Power of Habit
  5. 510,000 Hour Rule
  6. 6You Get Out What You Put In
  7. 7Are you getting better or worse?
  8. 8A Goal is a Dream With a Deadline
  9. 9Pay the Price
  10. 10Be a Finisher
  11. 11Patience
  12. 12Practice Makes Perfect: Wrong
  13. 13You can do anything…
  14. 14Now or later?
  15. 15Do the Work
  16. 16You are the Hero of Your Own Movie
  17. 17Your Life Depends On It
  18. 18Success Takes Time
  19. 19Anything Worth Doing
  20. 20Progress, Not Perfection
  21. 21Nerves
  22. 22Power of Discipline
  23. 23Never Satisfied
  24. 24Dream, But Have a Plan
  25. 25I’ll do it “Some day”
  26. 26Top Athletes
  27. 27Art & Fear
  28. 28Chasing rabbits
~ a word from Grandma Sue ~
4Fall Down, Get Up
14 lessons

Failure, adversity, and “Maybe, who knows?”

  1. 1Adversity
  2. 2The 90% Rule
  3. 3Failure
  4. 4Maybe, who knows?
  5. 5What Kind of Person Are You?
  6. 6Creating Adversity
  7. 7Suffering
  8. 8Regrets
  9. 9Your Focus
  10. 10Be a Rocket
  11. 11Nothing that has meaning is easy
  12. 12The Way Out
  13. 13Better Today
  14. 14Mountain or Molehill
~ a word from Pop Pop ~
5Think Well
24 lessons

Learning, judgment, decisions, and your future self.

  1. 1Read
  2. 2Lucky and Good
  3. 3Brains AND Brawn
  4. 4Tools, Not Answers
  5. 5Never Stop Learning
  6. 6Smart Enough
  7. 7Strong Views, Weakly Held
  8. 8Ask Your Future Self
  9. 9What if you die young?
  10. 10Estehkhareh
  11. 11It’s Never Black or White
  12. 12Solicit Feedback
  13. 13Knowledge is Attainable
  14. 14Play the Long Game
  15. 15Si vis pacem, para bellum
  16. 16Your Choices Determine Your Future
  17. 17Growing In Life
  18. 18When you need to think….
  19. 19The Best Students
  20. 20How to Change the World
  21. 21The Long Arc of Your Life
  22. 22What would you say?
  23. 23Being Open Minded
  24. 24Clever vs. Wise
~ a word from Mimi ~
6Your People
18 lessons

Love, friends, conflict, and leading others.

  1. 1Teamwork
  2. 2Check Your Ego at the Door
  3. 3Heartbreak
  4. 4Power of Mentors
  5. 5Assume the Best
  6. 6Relationships Take Work
  7. 7Don’t take any bull…
  8. 8Be Nice
  9. 9Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way
  10. 10Advice to a Young Leader
  11. 11Friends
  12. 12Marriage
  13. 13The Importance of Communicating Well
  14. 14Arguments & Emotions
  15. 15Observe Your Judgements
  16. 16Leadership
  17. 17Breaking the Ice
  18. 18Worth Fighting For?
~ a word from Layla ~
7Work, Money & a Good Life
28 lessons

Earning, saving, and what all of it is for.

  1. Work & Money
  2. 1Learn in Your 20s, Earn in Your 30s
  3. 2How to Get Rich
  4. 3Deciding What You Want to Do
  5. 4On Becoming a Millionaire
  6. 5Should you be an entrepreneur?
  7. 6Save, but be Happy
  8. 7Why Capitalism Works
  9. 8Low Overhead = Low Stress
  10. 9Jim Collins’ Top 10
  11. 10The Wealth Paradox
  12. 11Employee Advice
  13. 12Passion
  14. 13Somebody Has to Sell
  15. 14Money Buys Happiness
  16. A Good Life
  17. 15Every Right a Responsibility
  18. 16It’s never too late…
  19. 17Life is Good
  20. 18Pale Blue Dot
  21. 19The MBA & the Fisherman
  22. 20Life is About Balance
  23. 21We Stand on the Shoulders of Giants
  24. 22What is Success?
  25. 23Time
  26. 24Gratitude
  27. 25The Secrets to Happiness
  28. 26Live, For I am Coming
  29. 27Don’t Settle
  30. 28Go without…
AAppendix
13 pages

Family keepsakes, the full readings behind the part openers, and the short notes and duplicates from the old site.

  1. Family & personal
  2. 1Change is the Only Constant
  3. 2Drive fast if you wanna come!
  4. 3The cutest email ever
  5. 4Hi! I’m Kat
  6. Readings
  7. 5Man in the Arena
  8. 6The Road Not Taken
  9. 7If
  10. 8Do not go gentle into that good night
  11. 9Pre
  12. Notes & duplicates
  13. 10Do the Work
  14. 11Don’t wait to lose something to appreciate it
  15. 12Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become
  16. 13Para Bellum