Month: September 2022

  • The Secrets to Happiness

    The Secrets to Happiness

    Psychologists have turned their attention to the science of happiness. They have made some interesting discoveries. I am paraphrasing here, but here’s a summary of the literature – or The Secrets to Happiness:

    • Low expectations – Unhappiness comes from high expectations that don’t reflect reality. One way to avoid this disconnect is to not spend too much time thinking into the future. Focus on the here and now. Keep dreaming big, but don’t fixate on the future. Happiness = Expectations minus Reality
    • Limited choices
    • No judgements – and a corollary is don’t compare yourself or your situation to others
  • You are not your backhand…

    You are not your backhand…

    You are not your performance or result or test score. You should not measure your worth by how you perform or how other people see you. This will make you unhappy and anxious, and you are much more than that. If you identify with your backhand, you will judge and evaluate yourself that much more.

    This came from The Inner Game a Tennis. Highly recommended reading!

  • Now or later?

    Now or later?

    A successful, well-lived life requires a lot of hard work. I have noticed there are generally two approaches to this hard work. You can work hard early on in your life and benefit from the fruit of this hard work. Or you can choose to not work hard early in life, in which case you will work hard later in life. This usually means working later in your life or trying to play catchup to those around you who have been working hard over many more years.

    You will have to work hard. You choose when you want to put in the work. My opinion is it’s best to work hard early in life so you can slow down later and enjoy the benefits. Of course, if you’re still having fun, you can continue to work hard later in life as well. And you’ll have that much more of an advantage compared to those who haven’t been working as hard…

  • When you need to think….

    When you need to think….

    Distractions are ubiquitous, subtle and insidious. They have a way of stealing your attention without you realizing it, for weeks, months, or even years at a time. I am not trying to be hyperbolic.

    Any time you are distracted, your thinking is unconsciously shallow and limited. Distractions can be obvious, like being fully engrossed in a video game or movie. Or they can be subtle like having the radio on in the background.

    I find that any time I have any kind of distraction, I can’t be fully creative and strategic in my thinking.

    This became blindingly obvious to me on my commutes to work when I lived in Newport and drove to Los Angeles every day. Sometimes I would listen to audio books on the drive, and sometimes I would not listen to anything. When I had the radio or audio books playing in the background, I would rarely have a deep insight or creative thought. Conversely, almost every time I turned off all of the distractions interesting thoughts or ideas would bubble up. This deep thinking has enabled me to become much more effective in my life.

    Any time you have to make an important decision or you want to think strategically, I would highly recommend you eliminate every distraction. Put away the cell phone. Turn off the TV and radio. Sit in a quiet room with nobody and nothing around except you, a desk, and a blank piece of paper for capturing your thoughts.

    This is going to feel so uncomfortable when you do it that your mind will scream for entertainment and distraction. Resist the urge to give in if you don’t have an insight right away. Sit there and wait. The vision or strategy or next move will come to you.